Ang Talinhaga ng mga Kuda ni Mujang

Blog ng isang nagmamahal.

2009-07-02T14:39:00.003+08:00

Is love worth waiting for... to tell you honestly, hindi ko din alam eh, marami akong tanong ngayun sa buhay pag-ibig. Normally ako yun madalas magbigay ng advice pero ngayun parang ako ang nangangailangan ng advice.

It all started when i met this guy sa isang site na katulong ako sa pagmamanage. I was connected din sa isang distribution company, so masasabi natin na busy din ako kahit papano. Then, i have no time for lovelife and the stuff, kung may dumating, e di go, kung wala... work work work and have good time with friends.

Until i chanced upon this new site for single guys, i was approached by the owner and offered me a position as one of the site admin. Tinanggap ko naman kase im fond of doing things other than my work and im really eager to be part of a group in the pink community, aside from the fact that its a group for single guys hehe.

So ok naman yun site, ive met friends, ive done some flirting around, marami din nag flirt back... yun kase yun point ng buhay ko na i feel very ugly and feeling ko wala na akong laban sa mga bata batang guys ngayun. So having found my inner beauty again, na may nagkakagusto pa pala, nabuhay din ang hope ko na magkaron ng partner. Nabansagan pa nga ako sa site na pinakaflirtatious sa lahat ng mga members kase very jolly and accommodating ako sa lahat.

Until such time na nagkaron ako ng isang connection sa isa sa mga members dun, the flirtation has been going on like forever, puro padaplis hangin lang. Until nagkita kami and ok naman. He looks decent naman and somehow may connection naman kami. We tried dating and talking over sms. But fate seems to interfere, dinapuan naman ako ng sakit and we sorta had a falling out. I tried to meet him one more time and spend time but i could not feel anything anymore. Nabigla pa ako sa mga sumunod na pangyayari, but i want to clear things out, we didn’t come to any arrangement na kami na. So things are a bit open pa din to both of us.

I knew i had to finish it, ayoko din naman kase na paasahin sya sa wala. So i was really tuliro nun weekend nay un, nadagdag pa sa mga iniisip ko yun unang geb ng site namin. I felt at that time na para akong nakakulong, hindi ko maikilos yun gusto kong ikilos kase alam kong nanjan sya. Un sa GEB naman, ndi ko naman sadyang maasikaso kase kagagaling ko lang sa sakit and im still recuperating.

Dumating yun araw ng GEB na tuliro pa din ako, i had no plans na pumunta na sana but mapilit yun ibang mga kaibigan kong moderators and isa pa parang ayaw ko syang makita that night. Anyhow, nandun na kami sa venue ng GEB and he arrived also, i dunno if its because im sick kaya matamlay ako or dahil nga sa feeling ko na bantay sarado ako. Then another someone arrived. He is also a member of the site, a tall, striking and quite a young guy. Ewan ko ba, nun Makita ko sya, para akong nahampas ng kaldero sa ulo. Iba yun feeling, parang bigla akong na excite na ewan, and i felt conscious sa harap nya.

We have been exchanging sms na pala even before, hindi ko lang sya nasasagot kase nga may sakit ako the past days. When we returned to our seats, he was seated directly in front of me and i felt very conscious of his gaze. The guy that i am currently dating was seated beside me kaya i try to brush off yun nararamdaman ko. But as the night went on, i cant help myself to look to where he is, as in mga nakaw na sulyap. Nakikita ko din naman sya na patingin tingin sa akin and i didn’t know what to do. Maraming umaaligid sa kanya and i felt jealous, i cant understand why i but i did. So mas pinili ko na lang na lumabas ng room to avoid any confrontation. Nakipagusap na lang ako kung kani kanino para malibang. Then i found myself in a situation na nagulat na lang ako and that sealed the fate of my dilemma above. I even shared what im feeling with the head of the site regarding the sitwasyon na kinasasangkutan ko. Humihingi ako ng tulong kung papano ko tatapusin yun sa aming dalawa nun guy na dine date ko. Well there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart ika nga di ba. So i was really confused that night.

It came the time na kailangan ko nang umuwi at magpahinga. Ewan ko kung anong pumasok sa isip ko and somehow i have this need to make contact to this new guy, makausap ko man lang sya bago umalis or something, basta ang alam ko lang at that time na i need to do something. As i said my goodbyes dun sa mga kasama ko, i started to make beso beso to everyone, kahit dun sa mga unang kakilala ko pa lang, naisip ko lang na para walang makahalata. Dumating ako kung san sya nakaupo and nagbeso ako sa kanya, that was the time i felt something, parang electricity nun magdikit kaming 2. Ewan ko cguro excited lang ako at that time but i knew then na meron din syang naramdaman. I went home that night thinking again about those other members na umaaligid sa kanya. Andaming pumasok sa isip ko nun but i let fate decide. I just sent a message to him telling na it was nice to meet him sa GEB.

The next day nagulat na lang ako na i received a reply from him, and he was nice naman. That was the start of a series of sms conversations. Wala naman kaming pinaguusapan anything in particular, almost generic at times, minsan napapasok yun mga eksena nun nakaraang GEB and kung ano ang mga nangyari pa after i left. I also get to know the fact that he was looking at me too, na naging observant din pala sya sa mga kilos ko that night. I dunno if he was pulling my leg or what but i felt somehow someone get a notice of me and it felt good. You may call that exchange of sms flirting but honestly i tried to maintain a respectable conversation. Ayoko din naman kase mainvolve with someone while i am still involved with somebody else. And he said that he was also recuperating from a failed relationship. And besides I still have that lingering dilemma in mind that i need to solve my problems first before i put myself into another situation.

But i think fate has its way and we both found ourselves immersed sa aming sms conversation, you can say na nandun na kami sa boundary ng pagiging sweet sa isat isa. And aaminin ko na nahuhulog na din ang feelings ko para sa kanya. Inamin din nya na nagugustuhan na din nya ako. So i told him na aayusin ko muna ang kinasasangkutan kong sitwasyon. Ayokong may lumabas na nangagaw o inagawan, kung meron mang dapat sisihin eh ako, dahil ako ang nagiba, ako ang nagbaling ng nararamdaman ko towards another. Mas lalo akong naging tuliro, my friends were there to support me, even giving me a sanctuary in that time na kailangan kong magisip. Finally i had the courage to tell the guy i am dating that things will not work out between us anymore. Siguro ang pagkakamali ko lang is that hindi ko nasabi sa kanya ang totoo na aside from the fact na undecided na ako even before that night of the GEB is that i met somebody else. I edited out somethings, hoping to ease the pain of the news.

Siyempre to the rescue na naman ang mga kaibigan ko sa site to help me cope up with the situation, we met at starbucks araneta to talk and somehow enjoy the night para hindi ko maisip ang mga nangyari. Again, fate has its way of toying with us, nagkataon na nandun din pala this other guy that i am interested with. Honestly when i knew that he was there, alam kong gusto ko sya makita pero with us is a friend na interesado din sa kanya. To tell you ilang friends ko ang interesado sa kanya at decided na i pursue sya so i dunno where to fit in, iniisip ko yun mararamdaman nila. But somehow i need to tell them kahit pahapyaw. So dinaan ko sa biro lang. A message rang in my fone and its him... he told me where he is and he said that he saw me from where he is. He asked me if we could see each other and i begged him na wag muna kase nga ayoko din ng issue, kakahiwalay ko pa lang kase. But he kept on asking so i finally gave in. I excused myself from my group and went to where he is. Ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko that time kase finally magkikita na kami ulit and magkakaalaman kung ano ba talaga. As i approached their table, he was with a cousin, nakangiti na sya and i felt like i was floating. I knew then that i like this guy. Upo, usap, medyo may ilang. Then we found ourselves having our knees touch. Initially ang naiisip ko eh iiwas but i tested him kung aalisin nya, but he did not. Nakipaglabanan pa ng tuhuran as ive put it hehe. Then i knew that there was something with him too. After spending a few minutes there, my friends texted me that we have to go, nagpaalam na ako sa kanilang magpinsan na babalik na muna ako dun sa table namin. When we were finally leaving, my friends knew already who i met and yun may gusto sa kanya sa group was teasing me... “ang pait pala ng strawberry frap!” pertaining to the bitterness he felt nun malaman nya na kami ang magkasama dun sa kabilang resto. I felt bad kase hindi ko nasabi agad. I went back to his table to say goodbye and he touched by belly... haha alam ko na that he is into me too. I felt happy. We ended the night talking over the phone, cyempre unyt hehe...

The following day was a normal day kase nga holy week na. He said that he was at gateway again accompanying his sister. I offered to accompany him kase may i meet daw yun sister nya and sya lang magisa dun. So i said na sige pupuntahan ko sya para may kasama sya. I took that chance para Makita sya ulit. I arrived there and kasama pala nya ang pinsan nya ulit. Ok naman sa akin kase at least may ibang tao para kung magkailangan man may panabla. I placed myself beside him and we started chatting away. Ewan ko ba kung pano nangyari pero we found ourselves holding each others hand. And hindi na nagbitaw un for quite a long time. Im not much of a PDA person myself kase nga nasa labas pero inisip ko nun what the heck... gusto ko tong taong kasama ko and i will show him that i do. Pakilalam ko kung maraming tao, basta at that time sya lang yun taong nakikita ko. As the day pass, dumating yun ilan sa mga friends nya, his sister rejoined us, so ayun... parang biglaang party ang nangyari. I met his side... i just made myself comfy, never pretended a bit. Madali ko naman sila nakagaanan ng loob. We were like lovers, this guy and i, ndi namin inintindi ang mga tao sa paligid naming, at that time, i felt very happy and alive. Ito nga siguro un sinasabi nilang rush. We eventually went to a bar in morato and spent the rest of the night there... that’s when he informed me that he and his sister are going back to the province for the meantime. Parang ang hirap naman nun pagkakataon na yun... natawa na nga lang ako kase isip ko sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana... kung kelan feeling ko nakahanap na ako ng taong gusto ko saka naman ilalayo. But i did not fret at that time, mas inisip ko na lang na i enjoy un sandaling moments na magkasama kami. He said that he will be coming back naman daw after 2 weeks so sabi ko may pagasa pa naman pala. That night we decided that we will be exclusive to one another... i dunno if that will count as kami na or what... may mga nagsasabi na counted na daw un as kami na, but to us, we know that what we have that night is a mutual understanding. We parted ways at around 3am and i was there watching them ride a bus home, catching a last glimpse of him not knowing if this person who made my heart beat again will ever come back.

Nagpatuloy yun paguusap naming thru txt and tawag. Araw araw kami magkausap, mula pagkagising hanggang sa pagtulog. Seem that we cant get enough of each other. Everyday was like torture for me kase magkalayo kami... ako pa naman pag may nagustuhan eh as much as possible gusto ko lagi nakikita or nakakasama. Kumbaga at that time para kaming nasa honeymoon stage. Gahis na gahis sa isat isa. A week past and ganun pa din ang eksena naming 2. He was there, i am here. Marami akong naiisip na baka may makilala syang iba ang makalimutan nya ako. I really like this guy. I even made constant communication sa sister nya. Nagpapalakas ika nga hehe. So ganun nang ganun na lang kami araw araw, i always ask him kung kelan sya babalik, no concrete answer, either next week or katapusan ng april. I knew then that i had to do something before i lose him to someone or just losing him at all. I decided to go after him sa province nila. Good thing na taga dun din ang hipag ko so wala akong masyadong magiging problema sa tutuluyan. The only problem was i never travelled this far and alone pa. Sbi ko sa sarili ko, lakasan na lang ng loob. Bahala na. That day i decided na magbyahe, i literally dropped everything, nag decide, nagimpake, pumunta sa terminal ng bus, sumakay. Ganun. I never told him na pupunta ako, i wanted to surprise him. Ang nakakaalam lang ay yun mga pamangkin ko dto sa bahay, yun sister nya at 2 sa mga kaibigan ko. I told him na i was going someplace else that night and the rest was history.

I travelled by bus papunta sa province nila, uncertain what that voyage may bring. Kumbaga hinanda ko ang sarili ko sa kung ano man ang magiging kapalaran ko, kung kasama ko ba siyang uuwi or uuwi ako ng luhaan. Dumating ako dun sa place ng hipag ko kinaumagahan, nagpahinga lang at naghanda na para Makita sya. As i neared the place kung saan naming napagkasunduan ng sister niya na mamaganap ang muling pagkikita, kinakabahan ako. Papano kung mabulilyaso, papano kung hindi matuloy... ah bahala na basta ang iniisip ko lang nun eh ang Makita sya ulit. I arrived there at the meeting place, i saw his back and i entered, a slice of cake in my hand, i slid it at the table and waited. It took a while when he realized that i was standing behind him. He was dumbfounded to see me there; he never expected na nandun ako nakatayo sa harap nya. I never felt more excited since the last time i felt excitement nun bumili ako ng LCD TV ko hehe. Even after 30 mins he really cant believe na nandun ako. That was when i popped the question that has been bugging me the past two weeks, i asked for his heart. I asked him to be my partner and he said Yes! I gave my gift to him, a bracelet that both of us will wear signifying us being together finally. During my short stay there, we spent almost everyday together. I saw happiness in his eyes too. Kahit mejo pigil kami sa labas pag magkasama but ang importante nun eh magkasama kami. I asked him to come home with me back to manila... to have a future together. He agreed to come home with me, and we travelled back to manila together, to the anticipation of our friends from the site and our personal friends. We are set to charter a life together with no certainties. We just knew that we love each other and on that time it was all that matters.

We started out as any couple would do, honeymoon, seems like every day we were inseparable. Even the simplest things we laugh about. We attended events together, shared dinner with friends who are eager to see us and gustong makinig ng kwentong pag-ibig naming dalawa. Everyone was very excited, so are we, pero may katapusan din pala ang lahat. Reality starts to set in and all the excitement drew to a close. Nandto na yun challenges na araw araw na kaming magkasama, see each other’s vulnerability, like Makita ang isat isa pag bagong gising, ang habits ng isat isa, ang mga kasipagan at katamaran at marami pa. Minsan sa mga relasyon ng gaya sa atin, ito daw ang testing ground ng pagkagusto nyo sa isat isa, pag nagsimula na kayung magkasama after all the excitement of the courtship and giriian and flirtations. Kumbaga dito na kayu nagkakaalaman ng ugali ng isat isa, you test the compatibilities and those other things na nakasanayan mo na nun mag isa ka. Nagsimula nang Makita ang mga ugali naming, nanjan na unang una yun sa mga random txt messages na natatanggap, yun tanungan ng tanungan. So far wala naman masyadong selosan kase hindi naman kami masyadong lumalabas. There has been instances na may napagtalunan kami na connected pa in the recent past that haunted us pero nakukuha din naman sa usapan. There has been different topics and principles din kaming pinagtalunan pero so far we stuck to our promise na paguusapan ang problema at sosolusyunan ang mga ito. Trials came kase pareho kaming walang work, kumbaga yun natatanggap naming pera buwan buwan ang ikinabubuhay namin. We tried to work around it everyday. So far kahit may kaunting problema, we felt ok kase magkasama kaming 2. We just spent our days here sa bahay, surfing the net, cooking, eating, kulitan ng walang katapusan. We spent our 1^st month together so simple. I bought him chocolates and gave it to him on the stroke of midnight as i greeted him. On the monthsary itself, nakipagkuntsaba ako dun sa head ng site naming to post my vows to him... so sabay sabay, pag open nya ng profile nya dun sa site naka post yun vow, tapos naka send din sa kanya thru sms. That was the only thing na naisip ko to surprise him kase nga kapos kami sa budget nun. Then after a few days we went on a date nun dumating un funds. Our pagsasama went on for another month until dumating yun time na kinatatakutan ko, yun pauwiin sya pabalik sa province nila.

A few weeks before our 2^nd month, the news came. Na kailangan na nya bumalik sa sa province nila sa utos ng tatay nya. As much as i would not want him to go back there, wala naman akong magawa kase pamilya na yun. I was asking him then what is the reason ng pagpapauwi sa kanya, only vague reasons arose... nanjang isa sa dahilan yun AH1N1 na kumakalat dto ngayun sa manila, nanjan yun ieenroll sya sa scuba diving at firing. Andaming dahilan na parang ang hirap tanggapin dahil its very hard to let go of someone na mahal mo. Everyday after the news was said, parang struggle na, unti unting nag seep in sa akin ang kalungkutan, knowing in a few days aalis na sya. Parang ang hirap magkaron ng moment na hindi mo sya makikita, na parang ang gusto ko lang nun mga oras na un eh nandun lang ako lagi sa harap nya at pinagmamasdan sya. I try to remember each small detail, each smile, frown, laughter... i tried to brush off that loneliness kase ayoko naman Makita nya ako na umiiyak. Pag magisa na lang ako saka ko naibubuhos yun nararamdaman ko. One day came after the next, habang lumalapit yun araw ng pag alis nya lalong bumibigat ang nararamdaman ko. Knowing na 6 months after pa daw sya babalik is making it even harder.

The day came nang nandun na kami sa terminal ng bus at bumili na kami ng tiket pauwi nya. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko... i was on the verge of crying pero pinipigil ko. Ganun pala yun pag pigil na pigil ang kinikimkim mo, parang sasabog ang dibdib mo. Actually nanalangin pa nga ako na sana mawala or mamisplace yun tiket para ndi na sya makauwi. But its already set. He was to go back Tuesday night. That night, nagsimula na sya magligpit ng gamit nya, ayusin lahat yun dadalhin nya pabalik... i tried to busy myself na lang sa panonood ng dvd para ndi ako malungkot. Nagtatampo pa nga sya bakit parang hindi ko daw sya pinapansin, hindi ko lang masabi na “anong gusto mo? Magsaya ako na aalis ka?” ayokong tumingin kase masakit para sa akin ang pag-alis nya. Although hindi naman kami mag break or mag cool-off or anything pero mahirap pa din na magkahiwalay. Kumbaga sa paggawa ng bahay, hindi pa nga ganun katigas o katibay ang pundasyon eh lalagyan mo na ng 2^nd floor. I felt that at that time, we were not ready yet sa ganung sitwasyon. Na ang relasyon naming ngayun, fragile as it is dahil bago pa lang e ma subject to further test ngayung magiging long distance naman. I felt that the distance would make the relationship even more fragile kase sa isang iglap lang pwede magbago ang lahat. Mahirap ayusin ang mga bagay bagay kase malayo kami sa isat isa. We slept that night na umiiyak and not knowing what future is ahead of us.

Ang bilis ng araw nun Tuesday nay un, its been raining all day, parang nakikisama ang langit sa dalamhating nararamdaman ko. There were instances when i just feel na tumutulo nap ala yun luha ko. Parang hindi pa ako handa na umalis sya, in a relationship, this is not something you prepare for, not in a million times you think of. Yes, nanjan un fact na alam naman natin na wala naman constant dito sa mundo, and everything has its end, pero you constantly deny yourself that fact, you continuously hold on to the dream na matagal kayong magkakasama. Nang mga oras nay un, gusto ko syang pigilan, but i could not think of anything anymore to tell him na wag na sya umuwi. Alam kong wala akong laban sa pamilya nya.

The air at the bus terminal was so thick, parang hindi ako makahinga, 2 months ago, i was in that same terminal, all happy and excited, now im back there with a heavy heart and witnessing his departure. I felt traumatized. Ang hirap pala, akala ko sa movies lang yun na maiiyak ka pag nakita mo ang mahal mong umalis. But now i’m here, i’m experiencing that moment and it hurts so bad. Habang papalapit nang papalait yun oras ng pag-alis nun bus... i tried to remain my composure, ayoko mag breakdown kase usapan na naming na wala nang iiyak. Pinigil ko lahat, with every ounce of my will, but when i saw the bus pass by in front of me, with him waving back at me... hindi ko na napigilan ang pagbagsak ng luha ko. I felt that it will be the last time that i will see him, na hinayaan ko lang umalis ang taong mahal ko at wala akong magawa to prevent it. I know mahirap din para sa kanya ang ganun but i think mas mahirap sa taong naiiwan. As i looked at the bus until it disappeared, walang tigil ang iyak ko at hagulgol. My friend kept on consoling me na wag na akong umiyak at babalik din naman sya. Pakiramdam ko nun para akong magkaka heart attack sa tindi ng kabog ng dibdib ko. I have my friends to thank that night kase they really tried to make me forget for a while un sitawasyon ko. Isinama nila ako sa bar para mag aliw panandalian, but the loneliness and loss that i felt was still there.

Ang hirap pala ng unang gabi na hindi na kayu magkasama. Parang nakakapanibago ang unang gabing pagpasok ko ulit sa kwarto namin na wala sya dun sa kama, nagaantay at nakangiti. Nakakabingi ang katahimikan ng kwarto naming ng gabing yun. Parang kahit bukas ang tv... para lang akong nasa loob ng vacuum, walang nararamdaman, walang naririnig, walang nakikita. I tried to sleep but to no avail, nagpaikot ikot lang ako sa kama, umiiyak at yakap yakap ang unan nya, pilit na nilalanghap ang natitirang amoy nya sa unan. This went on for quite a few days. Everyday was like too much for me to handle. Magigising akong walang tao ang buong kabahayan, wala akong kasabay sa pagkain... maghapon akong tutunganga dito sa sala na magisa, walang kausap, dadating ang gabi at matutulog ng walang katabi. Ang hirap nang nakasanayan mong nanjan lang sya sa tabi mo, madaling makausap, madaling makayakap. It was even a struggle for me to even answer his txt messages kase naiiyak ako. My friends told me to be busy para maalis ang isip ko sa kanya, but it was very hard. Madaling magsabi lalo’t wala ka sa sitwasyon, i know for a fact kase madalas din ako mag advice and most of the time, those advises ako ang unang dumadaan or pagdadaanan ko din one way or the other. I dunno kung sadyang pinaglalaruan lang ako ng kapalaran.

Everyday we try to talk thru txt or thru calls, ang hirap mag pretend, hindi ko makayang kausapin sya na may saya sa boses ko. I know that he is somehow irritated sa mga ikinikilos ko pero hindi ko kaya magkunwari eh. One day came when i felt he has changed somehow, the way he speaks in his messages, all the restrictions of calling suddenly gave me an alarming signal. Parang all of a sudden biglang bawal na sya tawagan at a certain time, may times na nakakatanggap ako ng messages na parang hindi ako yun kausap nya and out of line sa pinaguusapan namin. May times din na pag unyt na, ang messages na natatanggap ko sa kanya eh may interval ng 30 mins. Cguro ganun talaga ang naiisip mo pag malayo sayu ang minamahal mo. I felt there was somebody else. Bumalik sa akin yun time na nandun sya sa kanila way back april when he told me he was out with a friend for dinner pero yun pala he was with a guy he met there and went out on a date. I was afraid that this time around ganun na naman ang mangyari. And honestly i am afraid of losing him kase malayo ako eh, i felt wala akong kalaban laban. I tried to ignore those thoughts but everyday seems may bagong tell tale signs kaya lalo ako napaparanoid. I decided one day to tell him everything that i noticed and how i really felt about it. He gave me his reasons but still at the back of my mind that thought still lingers. I felt a moment of relief but it still bothers me.

I was really troubled and hindi ko na kaya, i was at a point na gusto ko nang sumuko, and i felt na he was beginning to distance himself, kahit na paulit ulit nya sinasabi sa akin na mahal nya ako, na hindi sya mamawawala, those are just words, parang ang hirap maramdaman yun assurance. Wala naman ako magawa at that moment, hindi ko afford na pumunta dun at sundan sya. I don’t have any means kundi ang txt messaging lang at tawag, yun tawag nga naging limitado pa. One of my good friends ang biglang nag txt sa akin, nagyaya ng inuman kase bday nya, i obliged and i think she was the right person that i need to talk to dahil sya ay dumadaan din sa sitwasyon na meron ako ngayun. When we started, she instantly knew that i was in a complicated situation, she knew me thru and thru, sa tagal ba naman naming magkumare, para na kaming magkapatid. Alam nya ang pinagdadaanan ko, and she ws there to give me some advice and pointers. What she shared that night was true, tagos hanggang buto and i was guilty. Naliwanagan ako sa lahat ng mga ipinayo nya sa akin, and somehow i felt relieved and naging mas accepting ako sa mga nangyayari at sa mga pwede pang mangyari.

Now, ganun pa din ang sitwasyon namin, he is there, i am here, but somehow meron akong nakitang mga pagbabago from him, although hindi pa din sya pwedeng tawagan sa gabi, somehow un paguusap naman naming sa txt ay Masaya na ang mga topic, hindi na gaya ng dati na parang ang gloomy lagi, cguro kaya umiiwas din sya ay dahil sa akin, naisip ko din na sino ba naman ang matutuwang kausap ang isang taong parang lagi na lang drama ang eksena. Ngayun ive tried to limit myself sa pakikipagusap sa kanya para hindi na din ako masyaong magisip, i gave him the space, a space we both need para kahit malayo kami sa isat isa ay hindi kami magkasakalan. I realized that no matter how much i tell him na wag magloko dun wala din naman ako magagawa eh, i just hold on to what he said that he loves me and that i hold his heart, na hindi sya mawawala sa buhay ko at ayaw nya ako mawala sa buhay nya. For now yun na lang ang tinitingnan ko at pinanghahawakan ko, i know its not much but i have hope that everything is going to be better in time, in time pag balik nya dto kung papalarin na maayos pa din kaming dalawa then we can continue where we left off and this time avoid the pitfalls that we have been through and try to do better. Truly, absence makes the heart grow fonder, yet absence can also be a trap in which one can never survive. Ngayun im looking forward sa paguwi ko sa province nila at ang muli naming pagkikita, hoping that when i return to manila, he is with me again ready to start anew.

I am missing you...

2009-06-21T20:17:00.005+08:00

everyday is a struggle to think positive...
everyday is hard to be not beside you...
distance is not my ally...
distance is something im not ready for...

yet with all these struggles...
all i hold on too is my love for you...
with all these thoughts arising...
i hold my trust...

i am missing you...
everyday... every minute... every second...
i pray that you feel the same way...

it pains me at times when i feel that you are somewhat distant...
when all we have are short given time...
i cant help but think you're mind is somewhere else...
but again i go back...

i hold on to the promise we said...
i hold on to the love we confess...
i hold on to the trust we have given...

you have my heart...
you have my mind...
i am missing you...

Ang Pagbabalik

2009-06-02T15:21:00.004+08:00

abangan ang muling pagbabalik ng nagiisang MUJANG ng bayan...!!!!

On hiatus

2008-11-20T14:40:00.003+08:00

such a whirlwind these past weeks and ive decided to be on hiatus mode for the meantime to catch up on the things that needs to be ironed out

call it midlife crisis... call it hurdles... whatever suits you... its time to be serious...

wait for me my friends... mujang will be back... that's a promise

The Biatch Project - The Birth

2008-10-22T11:51:00.006+08:00

my new baby... my other persona... the bitch is back... and this time there will be no mercy!
coming soon...

http://thebiatchproject.blogspot.com

watch out... you know im watching... big kiss!

Just Stand Up - A Cancer Awareness Song

2008-10-09T09:35:00.004+08:00

I just wanna share this song i chanced upon to hear this morning on my way to work, the song just captivated me even without knowing the title yet. it turned out that it was a song dedicated to people with cancer, to those who continue to struggle to survive and its survivors.

cancer is a battle that my mom and brother went through but sadly was defeated by it. i cant help but almost shed a tear while hearing the song as i am looking outside the window of the cab yet, with the song's message, just stand up, it gave hope, not just to people left by those who were defeated by it, not just those who are still fighting to survive from it, not just those who live to tell the tale, but to all of us, with or without cancer, it screams the message across all who are inflicted, those that are losing hope... just stand up...

Everything will be alright, yeah

The heart is stronger than you think
Like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can’t it finds a way to still push on, though

Sometime you want to run away
Ain’t got the patience for the pain
And if you don’t believe it look into your heart, the beat goes on

I’m telling you
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don’t let up
Don’t you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know

If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up
Through it all, just stand up

It’s like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Don’t mean it gotta take control, no (no)

You ain’t gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Don’t wanna let your mind keep playing you
And saying you can’t go on

I’m telling you,
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust if off, don’t let up
Don’t you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know

If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough (ohh)
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up (don't you be)
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up (don't give up, just stand up)
Through it all, just stand up (just stand up)
Through it all, just stand up

You don’t gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off, you can live your life (yeah)
Let your heart be your guide, oh (yeah yeah yeah)
You will know that you’re good if you trust in good
Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
It will get better through whatever

If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up
Through it all, just stand up

If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up (don't give up, don't give up)
Through it all, just stand up

You got it in you, find it within
You got in ya, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within
You got in you, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within
You got in you, find it within ya
Find it within you, find it within
Through it all, just stand up

Rules to Live By...

2008-10-08T11:00:00.002+08:00

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

21. Spend some time alone.

NASA RAINBOW BLOGGERS NA AKO!!!!!

2008-10-07T09:50:00.004+08:00

there ang evidence mga adeng... ang ganda ng umaga ni mujang today!!! winner!!!

Aaaay Laav Et!!! - rajo laurel, project runway

naku kailangang magsipag ni mujang para maging mas bonggang bongga pa... may mga nasubaybay na eh... masamang biguin ang mga fenz! (kailangan islang anu beh!)

Mabuhay ang Rainbow Citizens!

Daniel in... Wilhemina OUT!!!

2008-10-06T09:39:00.003+08:00

Daniel Meade is back... as Editor-in-Chief of Mode magazine... ousting Wilhemina "the devil incarnate" Slater...

that is in episode two of Season 3 of Ugly Betty.

I much prefer having Wilhemina under Daniel... mas bitchy at mas feisty ang lolah mo... kesa nung naging editor-in-chief (briefly...) it would be predictable if she retains the post

Wilhemina is way better when she bitches around and pull out her destructive claws with the help of his ever faithful lapdog Mark... (which is very good being gay... such a character)

Well, they are the tandem that are the typical "hate 'em, love 'em" kinda personality... you know what i mean... wa na pag explain si mujang... lunes na lunes baka mag nose bleed...

well buhay na naman ang series season sa states... kaya ang mujang pag martes (gossip girl), huwebes (ANTM & Project Runway) at biyernes 0 sabado (Ugly Betty) ay hindi pwede maistorbo.... busy sa downloading ng mga ito hehehe kaya up to date eh... (no to piracy... for home viewing lang ang mga ito... charoooot!!!)

so pano... lunes pa lang mga adeng... watch nyo muna ang promo trailer ng betty... back to work muna si mujang... baka ma sight ng lolo vumvay... ngarag!

ciao!!!

CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

2008-10-02T10:25:00.006+08:00



An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you
worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't
happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does
happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time
schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough,
two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time
to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and
difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard
things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation
is a concern, find out what God would have you do
and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything
about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards
for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet,
an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps,
etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of
advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in
line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help
improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot..
Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait
until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between
despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself
at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people
are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably
need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the
general manager of the universe.

36 . Every night before bed, think of one
thing you're grateful for that you've never
been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY

The Rainbow Connection

2008-09-25T09:52:00.005+08:00

Mula sa panulat ni Ms. Lyka Bergen, pagkatapos ng aking matagal na pananahimik... panu naman kase ang mujang... bonggang bonggang stress ang pinagdaanan... kay ba naman pakulutin ng boss mong Vumvay ang kakaplantsa mo pa lang na hair!!!!

anyways... umaga... pagbukas ko ng aking mozilla browser, check agad ng mails, ng manjam, multiply, beauty school, at syempre... mawawala ba sa listahan ang blog ng lola lyka... aba aba aba at may new post tungkol sa kulay ng mga bahaghari... kaya ayun na inspire si mujang umeksena (humahabol sa titi awards ng lola lyka?!) kaya may i post ng excerpt ng kanyang blog sa comments section ng blog ng lola lyka... anyways hi waist... eto nah!!!!

Bakit Rainbow ang symbol ng Kabadingan? Bakit hindi Horse or Frog? Bakit hindi Sapatos or caricature ni Dorothy? Or di kaya Stars or, or.... or.... Dahon? Bakit Rainbow nga ba?

eh kase nga makulay tayong mga ateh (badets)at mga koyah (tibolis)

eto ang breakdown ng colors ha at ang kanilang konek sa ating mga buhay

RED - ano ba ang red... di ba sex, fire, heat, passion...

ganyan ang mga lahi natin
passionate (kahit ngarag na... give pa din the best, lalo na sa lovelife), laging in heat (mapusok, kala mo laging lalaban sa giyera pag may naisipang gawin... yan kala nyo sa kalibugan lang noh!)syempre, SEX, jan tayu talented lahat... ang mga ateh, super sing galing kahit sagad hanggang tonsils at ang mga koyah... LULU kung LULU ang labanan, bilib ako sa tibay ng panslasa nila!

ORANGE - anu ba ang orange, kung sa lasa, mejo tangy, sweet and sour, may zest

eh ang mga badets kala mo nasabugan ng orange ang buong katawan... bonggang bonggang zest!
pag naging sweet naman... kakaumay, pag naging sour... neng tago ka na, liliyab ka sa pagmamaasim ng mga lolah mo...
at ndi na din nagpapahuli ang mga koyah natin ha... gone are the days of mala erap at fpj ang drama nila na so serious mistulang isusugod sa ER... may zest na din sila mga ateng... (sa leki-leki ba ito?! Cchot!)

YELLOW - aba anu pa ba ang papasok sa mga isip natin pag yellow ang pinaguusapan... 1986, people power, si tita cory...

anong konek? tingnan nyo ang mga beki at mga tomtom... kahit anong okrayan, asiman, papaitan, laitan eh pag eksena ng sangkabaklaan ang pinagusapan, unite kung unite. pag may white party sa malate... aba! ang mga matagal nang bangkay (missing in action... kayu talaga!!! well kasama na din ang mga mukhang bangkay at amoy... hay! ayoko ma quote hehehe) muling nagkakaron ng 15 minutes of fame... at hitsura ni david copperfield sa reappearing act! at ang mga ateh at koyah natin... may boses na ngayun... marunong nang lumaban at ipaglaban ang ating karapatan... gow!

GREEN - well, pag green, ano ba ang unang papasok sa utak nating lahat kundi puro kamunduhan... ay wag magmalinis at lumaklak ng clorox para pumuting busilak!!!! lahat tayu jan guilty... may isa pang eksena ang green... ENVY... at higit sa lahat... M-O-N-E-Y!!!!

well papel.... lahat naman ng tao ay may taglay na kalibugan... (kidlatan ngayun ang wala!!!!) at lamang tayong mga ateng at koyang sa departamentong yan... kumbaga ang kalibugan sa ating mga katawan ay parang source of youth natin... aminin kaya kahit may edad na mas mukha pa rin tayong mga bata kesa sa mga str8... meron tayong natural GLOW!!!! (indi si ate glow ha!!!!)
likas din sa ating mga rainbow citizens ang pagiging inggetera! aminin... isipin mo kelan ka huling naiingit?! aminin moh!!! ultimong kailiit liitan, competensya pa din, inggitan pa din... hala kulang na lang pati ingrown na naka french tip kaiingitan... pero kahit ganun, magaling naman tayo magtago ng pagiging inggetera... magmamaasim na lang na may halong pa-ma... (patay-malisya) at cyempre ang kulay na pinakagusto ng lahat... M-O-N-E-Y... (oh, walang maasim jan na ndi green ang kulay ng mga money natin ha.... yun na!

BLUE - cyempre pag blue... peace... CHOT!!!! isa lang ang naaalala ko pag blue... pa-mhin... the opposite of effemeninity (Ms. botswana?!?!?!) bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue... color ng mga tigasin... hahaha nagpipilit tumigas at nagtitigas tigasan...

sige... pa survey kayu ng color sa mga pa-mhin, "discreet," bi-curious, discreet-straight (tambling kayo noh... ako din nun nadinig ko yan... sa isip isip ko, hala nag mutate na naman ang mga beki... lolz) na mga co-citizens natin... wat is yor peyborit colors!? dhay!!!! unang una sa pila ang "blue, pare"!!!! (dami naman exclamation points... stressed na stressed ang point ng lolah nyo)

well on the lighter side of life... blue naman talaga ay synonymous sa peace and harmony.... (nyeta! parang ndi talaga bagay magseryoso ng pananalita.... NEXT!)

at ang pinakahuli sa ating flag ay VIOLET! yes mga kapatid... eto na ang color na susunod... tingnan nyo sa wikipedia... indi na uso un roy g. biv, conventional na rainbow yun... tayo eh bongga... kaya nga VIOLET agad

VIOLET - ang kulay ng royalty.... the DIVA in all of us... madami tayo sa mga kalahi nyan, kahit kina koyah... may mga divah din sa kanila noh... butch diva, big brother diva, daddy diva, boy-next-door diva...

at cyempre ang mga diva ng ating lahi mga ateng... nanjan ang iyong ever favorite na drama diva... (tingin ka sa mga frends mo... meron isa jan OA na sa drama, minsan kahit wa na dapat ieksena.... dahil nga diva... drama pa din... chot!) the dancing diva... (lagi nasa bar... mega dance like there's no tomorrow ni paula abdul... pero take note, isang beer lang magdamag... charot!!!) the sosyalan diva (ang lolah mo teh... prim and proper, preppy, works in makati/ortigas... yuppie... maka emote ng mga branded kase sosyal... nyeta halos di na magkandaugaga sa pag OT at pag tipid sa pagkain araw araw para maka branded lang... lolz) at ang pinaka bongga sa lahat ang inyong MOTHER DIVA... may eeksena?!

hanggang sa muli!!!! mwah mwah mwah!

ciao!!!

P.S.

post ako nito kase sasali ako sa rainbow bloggers... hehehe baka sakali mapansin ang byuti ng mujang!!!

CHAROTTTT!!!!!

Mr Gay Brazil 2008

2008-09-15T10:56:00.002+08:00

Mr. Gay Brazil... such a candy...

São Paulo, BRAZIL - Marcos Grabowski, Mr. Gay Goiânia, won the title of Mr. Gay Brazil 2008, held at the Auditório Elis Regina, in São Paulo. The 1st runner-up was Felix Gomes, Mr. Gay Rio de Janeiro, and the 2nd runner-up was Maicon Araújo, Mr. Gay Florianópolis, also chosen as Mr. Photogenic.

21-year-old Marcos Grabowski will now get ready to represent Brazil at the II Mr. Gay International, in February of 2009. The event will take place in Los Angeles, USA.

La Mala Educacion (Bad Education) - 2004

2008-09-14T21:23:00.003+08:00

(Spanish: La mala educación) is a 2004 film by Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar (who worked on the film's story structure for over ten years) about two reunited childhood friends (and lovers) in the vein of an Alfred Hitchcock murder mystery. Sexual abuse by Catholic priests, transsexuality, drug abuse, and a metafiction are also important themes and devices in the plot. It is rated 18 in Spain, 15 in the UK by the BBFC and NC-17 in the US by the MPAA.

Two school boys, Ignacio and Enrique, discover love, cinema, and fear in a religious school at the start of the 1960s. Father Manolo, the school principal and their literature teacher, is witness to and part of these discoveries. On discovering the two boys' affection for each other, the priest, who is himself engrossed with Ignacio, is jealous and threatens to expel Enrique as a `bad influence'. In an attempt to prevent this Ignacio promises to do whatever the priest asks of him. The priest double-crosses Ignacio and expels Enrique anyway.

The film jumps to the 1980s with the boys now young adults. Enrique (Fele Martínez), a successful film director- on whose studio wall a poster depicting a movie known as "La abuela fantasma" (which shares its title with the original name of another Almodovar film, Volver) is seen- is visited by a stranger (Gael García Bernal) in his office, an actor looking for work who claims to be Enrique's boarding school friend and first love interest, Ignacio. "Ignacio" has brought a short story with him that is about their time at the Catholic school together and the physical and sexual abuse they suffered at the hands of Father Manolo (Daniel Giménez Cacho). It also includes a fictionalized account of their (Enrique's and Ignacio's) reunion after all those years.

Enrique wants to adapt Ignacio's story into a film, but "Ignacio's" condition is that he play the part of Zahara, the transsexual lead. Enrique remains skeptical, for he feels that the Ignacio whom he loved and the Ignacio of today are totally different people. He drives to Galicia to Ignacio's mother and learns that the real Ignacio has been dead for four years and that the man who came to his office is really Ignacio's younger brother, Juan.

Enrique's interest is piqued, and he decides to do the movie with Juan in the role of Ignacio to find out what drives Juan. Enrique and "Ignacio" start a relationship, and Enrique revises the script so that it ends with Father Manolo, whom Ignacio was trying to blackmail over the abuse to get money for sex reassignment surgery, having Ignacio murdered. When the scene is shot, "Ignacio" breaks out in tears unexpectedly.

The movie set is visited by Manuel Berenguer (Lluís Homar), who has read in the newspaper about the film and is none other than the real Father Manolo who has resigned from Church duty. Manuel confesses to Enrique that the new ending of the film is not far from the truth: the real Ignacio blackmailed Manuel, who somehow managed to scratch together the money but also took an interest in Ignacio's younger brother Juan. Juan and Manuel started a relationship and after a while realized they both wanted to see Ignacio dead. This was facilitated by the fact that Ignacio was a heroin addict. Juan scored some very pure heroin, so that his brother would die by overdose after shooting up.

Enrique is understandably shocked and not at all interested in Juan's weak vindications for what he did to his brother. Finally, before he leaves, Juan gives Enrique a piece of paper: a letter to Enrique that Ignacio was in the middle of typing when he died.

From the style of the opening credits to the score that is heavily reminiscent of the works of Bernard Herrmann, this movie is a homage to classic Hitchcock thrillers such as Vertigo, in which a femme fatale from the protagonist's past surfaces again but has a double identity and hides a dark secret. The content of the film's ending was only resolved in an earlier editing lawsuit.

- never been a fan of suspense/thriller movies, but bad education is a good watch, a movie you would not pass.

Grade: A

What Makes Men Fall in Love (part 1)

2008-09-10T10:53:00.004+08:00

Good Morning Philippines!

as i opened my browser this morning... syempre naka default sa yahoo homepage, something caught my attention... an article about love and relationship... (as if we are still in awe...)

here goes the first part...

What Makes Men Fall in Love (part 1)

*disclaimer ~ i have edited some parts of it (turned the "she" part to "he") para naman bumagay para sa ating mga baklush at para feel na feel natin ang pagbabasa... i have read the entire article and mostly it can be applied to m2m relationship... read away!

It's a baffling dating question: Is there some specific moment or event that makes a guy suddenly decide "Yes, I think I love him"? Well, the answer isn't clear-cut, but there are some general dating principles. "Men have certain innate needs that must be met before they truly feel connected to you, when a guy realizes, consciously or not, that you're ideal on all these levels, that's when he'll commit."

Boiled down,

Guys have four primal relationship desires that are sometimes sated by the tiniest of dating moves by you. Here, experts explain with examples so you can put these dating insights to use when your guy is at the brink.

The Desire: To Protect

Believe it or not, the so-called stoic sex is hardwired to nurture. Sheltering you from harm makes him feel studly, which makes him feel good. "Not that you should act helpless, but letting him see your vulnerable side will bring him closer because it unlocks his instincts to take care of you," says David Givens, PhD,." So give him chances to take charge, and thank him after he does. When a guy associates you with feeling like Superman, of course he'll want to couple up. These little things can draw out his hero side.

Give him a job. Ask him to fix or build you something. Performing concrete tasks is a way of bonding that enhances his sense of success.

Ask his opinion. Whether it's about your hair product hang ups or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.

Don his clothes. It shows that you've chosen him over other guys.

The Desire: Freedom

Even emotionally healthy single men want assurance that their identities will stay put after they've become half a happy couple. "By making it clear that you don't expect your guy to change, he'll feel like you truly understand him but don't threaten his sense of self," says Dan Neuharth, PhD, author of "Secrets You Keep from Yourself." "That leaves him feeling on sturdy enough ground to commit." The following dating moves let him know you're no ball and chain.

Blow him off. Single men hate the idea of being tied down socially, so turn down occasional plans. He'll not only feel easier -- and open up more -- around you, but he'll also start to wonder what you're doing and pursue you more.

Share your own fears. Guys often hold back because they think most gay guys are sex-craved trophy-hunters. So if you feel nervous about committing, let him know. He'll be reassured that you're navigating new waters too, not trying to trap him.

Reinvent yourself. Little changes in your appearance now and then -- say, a new frock once in a while, change the robe, etc. -- remind him that you've got zillions of facets to your personality too. Read: no rut risks.

Respect his privacy. A physical space that's totally his is a huge symbol of independence to a man. Signal that you respect that by, say, staying out of desk drawers and not peeking at his caller ID when his phone rings.

The Desire: To Shine

Maybe he's cocky, but he's still insecure. Trust us, guys need to know that they're respected and appreciated. "When being around you increases a guy's esteem, both internally and in the eyes of others, he'll naturally want to be attached to you," says Dr. Dobransky. Here, things that show your high value and nudge him toward love.

Make him happier. Laugh when one of you loses balance during an intimate moment. Go to stupid movies. Drag him out when he's crabby. If you can keep things light, even during stressful times, you'll become indispensable.

Be a social butterfly. Guys are good at left-brain stuff, like sales and sports, but can get awkward when it comes to social graces. Take the lead and charm the people you meet and he'll be extra grateful to have you. But he may take credit for making those new friends... whatever.

Play mind games. Activities that require mental prowess -- like Scrabble, puzzles, and chess -- can prod his passion. It sounds nuts, but proof of your problem-solving abilities subconsciously shows him you're a desirable choice for carrying on his genes.

Act like the grand prize. Seeing you through other people's eyes reminds him how special you are. Invite him to an event where you'll excel (whether it's karaoke or a fun run), or have him stand between you and another man you think is getting too close at a bar.

The Desire: Comfort

"Falling in love is a process of developing attachment, which happens when oxytocin floods the brain," says Alan Hirsch, MD, neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. You can unleash those love hormones by making him feel like you two just "fit." When he's so comfortable with you that he stops thinking about your relationship and simply enjoys it, he'll find himself nudged into love territory. Take these dating tips:

Let him see you primp. Grooming in front of him enhances intimacy because it's something other guys don't get to witness. Just keep it goddesslike (applying lipstick or powder), not gross (bleaching your moustache).

Cook together. Being around food spikes oxytocin levels in males. The more often you prep dinner a deux, the more he'll associate you with the good feelings he gets from eating it.

Stock your pad. When buying groceries you don't have a preference on, get a brand he uses. He'll subconsciously feel at home at your place. Catnap near him or let yourself doze off in his arms so he sees you in your most trusting, completely relaxed state.

What Yanks Him Back from the Brink

Some factors can derail a guy who's about to fall.

1) They Get a New Opportunity

A promotion often means spending more hours at work. Instead of balancing that with their love lives, guys tend to prioritize their careers and believe that a solid relationship will endure the delay. So if something big is brewing, he may hold himself back.

2) You Never Fight

Sure, guys hate arguing, but it's worse if you don't react negatively at all when he's screwed up. A guy will worry that (a) you're going to lash out later, (b) you're a doormat, or (c) you're not into him enough to care. Any of these will make him rethink your budding relationship.

3) Pure Panic

Many single men worry that if they commit, they'll have to give something up -- friends, dart night, something. So when a guy realizes he's fallen for you, he may freak out and pull away for a while. If you can weather his big-baby behavior without reacting in a way that confirms those fears, he should snap out of it.

~ courtesy of Yahoo! news

(coming up... 10 Signs That You're Dating a Commitment-Ready Guy - concluding part)

20 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD BECOME A SLUT **Warning... Explicit Content

2008-09-07T22:38:00.004+08:00

1. Good boys got to heaven, sluts go everywhere

2. Anything that moves – a motto to live by

3. People you’ve never met will know you by name (though not necessarily yours)

4. You’ll get one of those cool little black books

5. Your email inbox will always be full

6. When filling out forms, when you get to the line asking for your sex, you write “always”

7. After you die, Disneyland will name a ride after you

8. Four words: Make LOVE, Not War

9. Because being a slut is a lot more interesting than being a prude

10. You’ll be in good company (and by that meaning good in bed)

11. Can you say “reality tv star?” Of course, your show will be called Follow that Ho, but that’s a minor detail

12. Your fuck buddies will start referring you

13. Lots of free penicillin

14. Local sex clubs will give you an “honorary employee” discount

15. It can become lucrative if you start charging

16. You’ll save on condoms and lube when you buy them in bulk

17. When you’re older, you’ll be able to write a book about your life and it’ll be called Sex in Every City

18. No one will be able to accuse you of being prejudiced, because you’ll screw anything

19. Instead of being given a party favor, you’d be the party favor

20. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

STRAIGHT TALK TRANSLATES TO GAY LINGO IN G4M: Onli in da Pilipins!!!

2008-09-05T09:55:00.002+08:00

1. STRAIGHT ACTING: Alam na ng lahat na bading siya puwera siya! May goatee. Mahilig sa mga boys na pandak na mukhang callboy at gumagamit ng Afficionado perfume.
2. GYM BODY: Does nothing the whole day but cruise inside the gym and the showers. Longest relationship was with a dumbbell.
3. BUFFED: Steroid-induced pecs and abs. Knows all sources of good protein. Favorite word: "Dude!" (Pronounced as “Dod”)
4. NO EFFEMS: Thinks that having a relationship with someone effeminate makes him a lesbian.
5. SEVEN-INCH DICK: Asus. In reality, 5 inches lang naman talaga. In gay inches kasi, you always add two more inches to everything you measure.
6. YM ME: Jealous type. Ayaw ng competition sa chatroom.
7. I'M NOT EASY TO GET: Desperate but trying to sound choosy.
8. I'M HERE FOR SEX: I'm here for sex.
9. HANDSOME GUYS ONLY: “I am a shallow dork and I have a brain the size of a walnut. Did I mention even my dog hates me?”
10. JUST HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS: Did not make any friends in Friendster. Was kicked out of Dogster because they found out he does not have a dog.
11. GOOD IN BED: Needs a place to crash in but cant afford a pension house. The things he does for a good night’s sleep.
12. WHAT'S YOUR PASSWORD?: “I'm so horny I want to jerk off now.” Cant afford a paysite kaya kuntento na sa mga x-rated pics ng members.
13. TOP: Has had more girlfriends than boyfriends.
14. BOTTOM: Has very bad knee injury, hindi makaluhod para kumadyot.
15. I'M NICE : Dull, boring and has the personality of an ironing board.
16. I'M BAD: Just swallowed a dozen viagra pills. Has a tattoo, nipple ring and wears an ukay-ukay leather jacket during summer.
17. THIS GUY'S MAILBOX IS FULL:Hindi maka-check ng inbox kasi walang pambayad para sa internet café.
18. "WALA LANG": Has a ten-word vocabulary which includes “cool”,“hi”,“wassup”, “he he”, “ha ha” and “tnx.” Longest word he can write is his name.
19. I AM ATTACHED: Cannot mention the word love. Has commitment problems.
20. I LOVE TO TRAVEL: Looking for a sponsor for next overseas trip. Always starts a sentence with "When I was in Europe..." Then you ask: "Saan sa Europe?" He says: "Ah... sa city mismo!" Wow. Europe City.
21. IF YOU'RE NOT CUTE, DONT EVEN BOTHER: Lonely and miserable. Nobody takes care of him when he gets sick. Has 500 “friends” in Friendster kasi approve lang nang approve kahit hindi nya kilala.
22. I AM SENSITIVE, LOVING, CARING AND HONEST: You are probably reading your mother's G4M account.
23. I GIVE GOOD MASSAGE/EXTRA SERVICE: A masseur who got suspended where he worked because he wears too much foundation.
24. MY MOBILE NUMBER IS: Tawagan mo ako kasi wala akong load.
25. NO PIC, NO REPLY: Nabasa lang niya ito sa ibang profile kaya ginaya na rin niya. Ni hindi niya alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng PIC. Wanna bet?
26. DISCREET: Loves to hang-out in extremely dark places. Haven't even seen any of the faces of all the men he's had sex with. One of the few people who gets excited during blackouts.
27. HAIRY DADDY: Lots of chest hair pero for some strange reason - panot.
28. CURIOUS STRAIGHT MALE: Can’t decide if he’s top or bottom.
29. A BODY PIC WITH NO HEAD: Hipon. Or Wanted by the NBI. Or against sa religion niya ang maging member sa G4M. Or puwede ring tabingi lang siyang kumuha ng picture.
30. KINKY: May collection ng large Liwanag candles na pang-undas. May bote ng petroleum jelly sa ilalim ng kama. Go figure.
31. SWIMMER’S BOD: Used to be gym-bod. Nagkasakit kaya pumayat.
32. FLAWLESS COMPLEXION: Photoshop beauty. Blurred. Dodged. Liquified.
33. VIRGIN PA AKO: Chances are virgin pa nga ito. Who in his right mind would be proud to be still a virgin?
34. VIEW MY WEBCAM: Frustrated Pinoy Big Brother contestant.
35. DON’T TEXT, CALL ME: Sira ang LCD ng 3210 niya kaya hindi niya mababasa ang text niyo! Tawagan niyo na lang, please lang.
36. I’M A SEX MACHINE: Disease carrier. Ouch!
38. QUIET AND SOFT-SPOKEN: Probably dead.
39. MACHO: Sinusundan ang Masculados sa lahat ng mall tours nila. Uses WD-40 as lubricant.
40. BLANK PROFILE: Has no clue who he is, what he wants and where his life is going. Puwedeng isama sa cast ng LOST.
42. MESSAGE ME: What he really wanted to say in tagalog was: "Gusto kong magpamasahe sa iyo." Baka typo error lang.
43. HOMEBODY: Unemployed guy. A bum. Free-loader. Professional home-partner contestant in Eat Bulaga, Wowowee and Game Ka Na Ba.
44. OUT-GOING PERSONALITY: He's just saying this to bring attention to himself. Pero sa totoo lang siya pa rin si HOMEBODY, the unemployed guy.
45. I DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX: Only has sex when in formal wear, like when he is in a Barong Tagalog, for example.
46. LOOKING FOR A SOULMATE: A former member of Spirit Questors. Enjoys supernatural relationships. Cant handle the stress of the physical world.
47. I AM NOT HANDSOME: Take his word for it. He's being honest for chrissakes!
48. I'M HANDSOME, INTELLIGENT, GORGEOUS: Perfect na sana tong taong ito -- ugali na lang ang problema.
49. STUDENT: Has insatiable thirst for knowledge... and sex. But remember: pag may STUDENT, may TUITION FEE na kasunod.
50. I AM MESTIZO: Contact lenses from Tutuban, skin peeling by Maxipeel, hair color by Tsin Tsan Tsu and rhinoplasty from Ellen's. Speaks a little chabakano.
51. SHY TYPE: No serious love since birth.
52. I’M SENSIBLE: Can carry a simple conversation for 2 minutes. Beyond that he simply moans.
53. I’M A MAN OF THE WORLD: He wants to make it clear to everyone that, YES, he is from this planet.
54. I’M A REAL PERSON: People have often mistaken him for an ornamental plant in the past.
55. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET: He has no plans of changing for the better. He is completely content with himself. Little motivation in life.
56. I’M NOT JUST INTERESTED IN SEX: Joined G4M as part of his research in molecular physics and Asian Religious Beliefs.
57. LOOKING FOR BADMINTON BUDDIES: In search for the perfect shuttle COCK. He wants to SCORE big. Naghahanap ng RACKET. And he really wants to SERVE.
58. BISEXUAL: A “top” with girls, a “bottom” with guys. And willing to pay for sex. Get it?
59. BOYTOY : It’s very clear that he wants everyone to know that he is young. And he has a toy. Now, Whether he is willing to share that toy is negotiable.
60. DOG-LOVER: A hot bitch who likes it dog-style. Loyal. Man’s best-friend. Pees everywhere. Doesn’t mind if you tie him up to a fence.
61. YOU THINK I’M HOT? : He’s not really sure if he IS hot. Needs a second opinion. And a third. The fourth will probably convince him… that he is NOT.
62. NATURE-LOVER: Very kind to nature… considering what nature has done to him.
63. MALIBOG AKO: Masturbates five times a day. Has 80GB of pornography in his PC. Has the complete collection of phone scandal videos. Watches National Geographic to see naked men hunting wild boar.
64. COWBOY: Has seen Brokeback Mountain too many times. He talks to his cigarette and says: “I wish I could quit you!”
65. I’M SIMPLE YET COMPLICATED: Uhm… this one really blows me. Probably manic depressive.
66. NO CROSS-DRESSERS: Doesn’t want to share his satin gowns.
67. DERETSO AKONG TAO: Has a very strong back. Drinks Anlene Gold regularly.
68. I DARE YOU TO SEE ME IN PERSON: Unfortunately, nobody dared.
69. COME AND GET ME: No one is sure if this is an invitation, a request or a cry for help.
70. TYPICAL GUY: He has two arms, two legs, a nose, a pair of eyes… uh, what else. Oh yes, a penis.
71. SELF-MADE MAN: He appeared into this world just by his sheer power of thought.
72. CANDY BOY: Wants to be licked allover. Comes in three flavors: BAGONG LIGO, PAWISAN and LUMUSOB SA BAHA.
73. I AM SENSITIVE: Can sense an earthquake even before it happens. He is now being studied by scientists to warn the human race of future tsunamis.
74. I HAVE A WONDERFUL MIND: His temporal lobe, anterior commissure and medulla will give you a hard-on. Oh, yes… he has a pornographic memory.
75. I AM THE LIFE OF THE PARTY: A Boyoyong party clown.
76. DECENT GUY: Wipes his feet before entering a massage parlor. Brushes his teeth after giving someone a blowjob. Says a little prayer before and after sex. Confesses regularly... on his knees.
77. OPEN-MINDED: His brain is everywhere except in his head. A perfect medium for séances.
78. COME OVER AND LET’S HAVE SEX: Thinks that Guys4Men is a delivery service.
79. HOPELESS ROMANTIC: Believes that love is eternal. Easily trusts everyone. Gullible. Sinampal na ng syota pero naniniwalang pinatay lang ang lamok lang sa pisngi niya. Thinks Erap is innocent.
80. I AM FUNNY: That fact that he has to say that he is funny is hilarious.
81. PURE TOP: Has a ten-picture exclusive contract with a porno film outfit which prevents him from being a bottom. Will only become a bottom when the 'right' project comes.
82. EXTREME TOP FOR EXTREME BOTTOMS ONLY: Will only have passionate sex with an Extreme Magic Sing microphone shoved up their asses.
83. TRIPPER: Has a marijuana plantation in his backyard. Uses tie-dyed shirts, showers twice a month and responds to "Tsong." Does not a have a day job.
84. ASTIG 2 ASTIG LANG: A former seaman. Ideal places for sex: barracks, breakwater, inside a jail cell. Must have during sex: handcuffs, Purico cooking lard and a cd of Aegis.

- sino ka sa kanila???

a daily dose of astrological meds

2008-09-05T09:53:00.002+08:00

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Have you been neglecting your inner voice, lately? You know -- doing things that other people are telling you to do instead of going with your gut? Today, you need to realign your priorities. Make sure you put yourself first, in every sense of the word. Take your health more seriously -- ramp up your exercise routine and target a certain part of your body that you want to change. You are in control of your life and your body, and this is a power you need to not take for granted.

The Bottom Line

Have you been neglecting your inner voice, lately? Make sure to put yourself first.

some of my fave vids....

2008-09-05T09:31:00.007+08:00

(lady gaga ~ just dance)

(duffy ~ mercy)

(ida corr ~ let me think about it)

SMS Message: Reality Check

2008-09-03T11:41:00.003+08:00

- 9:23am, umagang umaga naka receive agad ako ng gift... an SMS from a friend and the contents cuts like a knife... toinks... reality check

Painful Facts in the Philippine Gay Scene:

1. It takes a lot to be saleable in the gay market scene.
2. Tall + Slim + Toned = HOT; otherwise = TRASH
3. Being chubby and effiminate is a CURSE.
4. 99% of the gay population = total FLIRTS.
5. Faithfulness is wishful thinking.
6. The words LOVE and TRUST are a powerful currency.
7. 99% of the gorgeous populace = conceited assholes.
8. 99% of the same gorgeous populace SEEKS THE SAME.
9. 99% of these call themselves "BI"
10. Choosing to LOVE is 99% nightmare and
11.Failure in LOVE has created those flirts...

- true enough

- is there still hope

- will there be a chance for these to change?

- just questions, no real answers

a daily dose of astrological meds

2008-09-03T11:20:00.003+08:00

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

You need to confront someone about a difficult issue, but you've been putting it off. It's totally understandable -- after all, it's not fun to have complicated conversations. But the longer you put things off, the worse things will get. So today, stop being wishy-washy about how you feel! It will feel exhilarating and liberating to step up and just get something off your chest. It's only once you get it off your chest that you will realize just how heavily it was weighing on you.

The Bottom Line

You must confront someone about a difficult issue -- don't put it off any longer.

Gossip Girl.... the return

2008-09-02T22:15:00.004+08:00

its back... for its second season run... the upper east siders are up to it again...

"Summer, some kinda wonderful" - pilot episode, season 2

As the summer draws to a close in the Hamptons, Serena (Blake Lively) and Nate (Chace Crawford) have everyone fooled into thinking they are a couple to cover up the fact that Nate has been hooking up with a married older woman (guest star Amick) and Serena has been secretly mourning her break-up with Dan (Penn Badgley). Blair (Leighton Meester) returns from abroad with a hot guy on her arm (guest star Patrick Heusinger), making a very jealous Chuck (Ed Westwick) question his decision to leave Blair stranded at the heliport. Dan has spent the summer assisting a famous author (guest star McInerney), but decides to head to the Hamptons to see how things stand with Serena after a summer spent apart. While interning for Eleanor Waldorf's company, Jenny (Taylor Momsen) sneaks an invite to a much-coveted Hamptons' White Party at which Eric (Connor Paolo) introduces her to socialite Tinsley Mortimer. Matthew Settle also stars. J. Miller Tobin directed the episode written by Joshua Safran.

Hot PAPA of the day!!!

2008-09-02T13:52:00.004+08:00

nag type ang mujang ng "Hot Papa" sa google image search at ito ang mga lumabas...

Hot Papa No. 1

Hot Papa No. 2

Hot Papa No. 3

sino ang tipo mo?? pili na...

of migraines and gay drama

2008-09-02T12:16:00.006+08:00

i woke up today feeling a little weazy... head aching... shit... migraine again (kaya pala pa-ingles ingles na naman ni mujang... migraine ang drama)

time and memorial park ko na nararamdaman itong sakit na ito and wala na yatang "the cure" super drink na lang ng medz and water (translation: coke) my phone has been ringing non stop mula pa 9 am mula sa mga clients na walang sawang humingi ng autograph ko (isang malaking CHAROT!!!) in truth nagfollow up lang ng orders at kung ano pang achuchuchu... kebs ang drama ni mujang... sakit ulo ko eh! im to tired to even lift a finger... (dyosa?!?!)

bandang mga 10:30 ay bumaba na sa lupa ang dyosa (?!?) at kanyang namulatan si dorothy (counterpart ni emily(andrea) ng "the devil wears prada," kaya dorothy kase badet ang kasarian at ito ang local version... "the devil wears janilyn")

Dorothy™

punta muna tayo sa istorya ni dorothy... si dorothy (hindi tunay na pangalan, ngunit isang tunay na tao?!?!?) ay isang abang bakla (ayon sa kanya ha... indi ako ang nagsabi ng mga words na yan adeng) isang abang bakla na simple ang pamumuhay at nangarap to make it big... si dorothy ay dating Overseas Contract Worker sa London, tagapagalaga ng mga aso sa ibang bansa... caregiver... sa mga aso nga lang. matagal nakipagsapalaran si dorothy sa daluyong ng buhay sa London, punas ng jebs dito, laps ng jebs doon (echos!) matiyaga si dorothy hanggang sa...
hay naku tigilan na nga ang drama... kumukunot ang noo ni mujang... sayang daw ang airtime...

eto na talaga ang kuda... si dorothy nakatira kina mujang, kase ang pinaggalingan eh kabundukan ng laguna, dito sya sa maynila nag-aaral at dito din sa maynila ang kanyang eksenang kabaklaan. kasapi si dorothy ng isang malaking grupo ng mga bading at dito nagsisimula ang tunay na istorya... (nuninuninuninuninuni... horror?!?!?!)

bandang mga 10:30 ay bumaba na sa lupa ang dyosa (?!?) at kanyang namulatan si dorothy (counterpart ni emily(andrea) ng "the devil wears prada," kaya dorothy kase badet ang kasarian at ito ang local version... "the devil wears janilyn") nagulat si mujang na nandoon si dorothy... alam kase ng lola nyo na uuwi ito ng laguna... yun pala lumandi lang kagabi at buong ningning at kagandahang kinwento ni dorothy ang kanyang mitsubishi adventure habang nagiinit ng ulam namin kagabi na CHOPSUEY.

natapos ang pagiinit nang ulam na humantong sa paglalahad ni dorothy ng kanyang mitsubishi adventure... si dorothy ay nakiulayaw sa isang tukling na itatago natin sa pangalang PAPA POLO RAVALES (indi na naman tunay na pangalan mga adeng... ito'y imbento lang, pero totoong tao naman sya) sino si papa polo ravales? aba mah! at pah! basta ang alam ko ay may jowa itong si papa polo ravales at itong tatanga tangang dorothy... super kilig naman kase ang bait bait daw sa kanya... so eto na ang drama

di ba nga mga adeng, ang papa polo ravales ay may jowang iba... committed ika nga... eh nakikipaglandian at lambutsingan kay dorothy... ang naive namang si dorothy... sige din naman ang landi... so eto na, unang talinhaga ng kuda ni mujang

mujang: "dorothy... anu ka ba naman, may jowa yun tao tas sige pa ang paglandi mo at pagsama mo sa kanya..."
dorothy: "indi naman ako ang lumalandi mujang eh, kundi sya..."

mujang: "kahit na... alam mo naman na may jowa di ba... ikaw ano mararamdaman mo kung ikaw ang nasa kalagayan nun jowa ni papa polo ravales... malaman mong nangangalantari ng iba ang papa mo... how would you feel?"
dorothy: (nosebleed) "can you run that by me again mujang... charot!" "eh kase may kinakalantari rin naman daw iba un jowa nya eh so patas lang... minsan na nga lang may hotness na papa na pumapel sa akey, hayaan mo na..."
(sabay natigilan panandali si dorothy kasabay ng muling pag-agos ng dugo sa kanyang ilong)
dorothy: "sabagay... ndi dahilan yun pangagaliwa ng jowa nya para mangaliwa din sya..."
mujang: "o e di ikaw na din ang sumagot sa katayuan mo... ganyan ba kababa ang tingin mo sa sarili mo at hinahayaan mong gawing kang panakip butas nyang si papa polo ravales na yan... ginagamit ka para makaganti sa kanyang jowawitschels..." "neng kung magaayos ka lang, mas magiging higit pa ang makukuha mo kesa jan sa papa na yan... kung mas papahalagahan mo ang sarili mo, build your values and character... mas makikita ng tao kung sino ka at kung ano ang worth mo..."
dorothy: "sabagay... pero mujang naman nararamdaman ko naman na gusto nya din akey... may i buhat pa nga sya ng gamit ko... may i hatid nya pa akey... you know..."

natapos ang aming usapang mas magulo kesa sa pinagsimulaan...

bakit kaya ang mga kabataan ngayun... mas iniisip nila ang panandaliang kaligayahan kesa sa tingnan kung ano ang maaring maidulot nito sa kanilang pagkatao, kung ano ang maaring maging epekto nito sa kanilang prinsipyo at karakter.

sa pananaw kase ni mujang, ndi naman sa hinahatulan nya ang mga kapwa tukling, pero ang pag-ibig at commitment at isang sagradong salita para sa kanya... na ang pag-ibig ay ndi basta basta umuusbong at ang emotions ay hindi basta basta madaling minamanipula at pinaglalaruan dahil one day it could run wild at get back at you...

minsan nga natatawa na lang si mujang pag nakaka encounter sya ng mga tukling na emoteng emote tungkol sa kung bakit alang makitang seryosong relasyon... walang sumeseryso sa kanila... ANG TANONG... bakit? kayo ba pag may sumeryoso sa inyo eh sineseryoso nyo ba? o kayo yun tipo na mayroong nasa isip na IDEAL GUY na sa gusto mo ay ganoong tipo lang ang tingin mong dapat sumersyoso sa iyo ng pakikipagrelasyon at seseryosohin mo ding mahalin... anybody who falls short in that category will just simply be a waste of time... cguro titikman lang then pag nawala na ang kilig factor move on to the next one na...

mahirap kung sa mahirap dahil may mga kanya kanya tayong tipo ng kagwapuhan at katikisan ng lalakling (lalaking-tukling) na iniilusyon nating mapasaatin. pero madami tayong pinapalagpas na pagkakataon dahil tayo mismo sa sarili natin ay niloloko natin... na nagpapadala lang sa peer pressure, dahil sa lahat sila may jowa kailangan din ako meron... ndi pwedeng mabakante ako kase pangit lang ang mga walang jowa... and so on

kung ganyan ng ganyan ang tatakbo sa isip ng bawat isa... wala nang mabubuong relasyon.

marahil nagtatanong kayo kung si mujang ba ay may jowa at kung makasalita ay parang... WALA... single blessedness ang lola nyo... at bakit

by chance and by choice na din daw... sa dami ng nakatagpo ni mujang na mga "seryosong naghahanap ng relasyon" lahat yun ay parepareho lang din ang naging dialog... "i'm sorry... hindi pa pala ako handang mag commit..."

hindi na ieelaborate ni mujang ang dahilan pero im sure alam na alam nyo na kase napagdadaanan nyo din ito... kanya kanya nga lang tayo ng eksena at pamamaraan lolz...

o cya mga adeng... magpapahinga muna si mujang... mamaya baka magpamassage na lang sya para ma relax naman ang byuti ng dyosa (?!?) sana may napulot kayong aral sa munting babasahin na ito... wag matakot mag comment... bukas ang aming mga linya para sa inyong mga hinanaing...

ciao!!!

Love of Siam

2008-09-01T22:03:00.004+08:00

"if we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it the day when we are separated? and being separated is part of life and you know about separation well... Is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?"

"at the same time, i was also wondering, is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? that's my loneliness..."

- Mew, The Love of Siam (2007)

yan ang drama ng kaibigan kong si arbita... ndi maka move-on sa movie na "The Love of Siam" abba naman mga adeng... sino ba naman ang hindi makaka-move on dun eh maski akey... pajulit julit ang kopya ng dvd sa player ko... kung pwede lang humiyaw si dvd... neng tumili na ito mala-regine v... pero higit sa lahat... itech ang pinakanakakakilig na eksena... watch na below mga adeng!!!

ang chopsuey... bow!!!!

2008-09-01T21:27:00.005+08:00

its dinner time and nag magikera na naman si mujang... cook ng dinner to the tune of chopsuey! ang mga ingredients:

1/2 k. pork (menudo cut)
1/4 k. pork liver, cut into strips
1/2 cabbage, cut into wedges
1 whole petsay baguio, cut into wedges
1 small carrots, cut into strips
1/4 k. baguio beans
1 can young corn
1 sayote, cut into wedges
3 pcs bell pepper, cut into cubes
1 small onion, cut into small cubes
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons of oyster sauce
1 tablespoon fish sauce (patis mga adeng!)
a dash of pepper
a dash of basil
a dash of sugar

after preparing all the ingredients... naks parang cooking with nora daza ang drama ni mujang hehehe...

ilagay ang pork sa pan, with 1 cup of water and patis... pakuluin mga adeng hanggang magmantika. pag na achieve na ang pagmamantika (ang pangit ng dating lolz) hayaang maging mala-lapids chicharon ang drama ng pork.

pagtapos nito, igisa ang bawang at sibuyas... before turning brown (wag sunugin mga adeng... magiging mapait ang lasa) i join sa gisa ang sayote at carrots... let it simmer then join the band wagon na ang hiniwang baguio beans at hayaang slightly maluto... wag i over cook (ang bilin ni mama sita) together with one cup of water, i dillute ang oyster sauce at isama sa gisa... pakuluin... in english, simmer... lolz

isama ang repolyo at petchay (with emphasis sa petchay... *wink) baguio, young corn at muling pakuluin... lagyan ng pa-mhin-ta (charot!!!) basil at sugar (nagtataka ka kung vaket may sugar... pangbalanse ini ng lasah atse!)

lastly, pag half-cooked na ang mga gulay, join in na ang liver... then put off the fire... ang liver ay maluluto na sa init ng yakap... este ng inyong niluto

kaya nyo kaya ang magic ni mujangers sa pagluluto ng pa-cham(ba)... ay chopsuey nga pala ang labanan ditech...

We would like to thank our sponsors once more...
Aling Binay... for the fresh gulay...
SM Centerpoint... for the fresh pork and liver
for my pamangkin-in-law, Arnold... na syang nagbalat at naghiwa ng sayote at carrots and
my ever loyal Winston... lights... na walang sayang dumamay at magpausok habang nag-gigisa

P.S.

tanong lang... anu ba trabaho talaga ni mujangers?!?! cook naman ngayun...

abangan...

ciao

Power Tripper - ikaw ba ito?

2008-09-01T14:11:00.005+08:00

power trip n. Slang An action undertaken chiefly for the gratification associated with the exercise of power over another or others

ito ang feel kong gawin ngayun... bunutin ang buhok ng napaka emotera naming finance ekek... everyday the policies change, daig pa ang pagpapalit ng damit ni mareng paris h.

kasimple simleng bagay... ginagawang mala- "its complicated" (friendster ba itoh?!?!) ng mga bruhilda...

hay buhay, sadyang hindi nga yata kailanman magkakaroon ng sanduguan ang finance at sales...

kailan kaya ang panahon na ma sight seeing natin na magkaron ng world peace ang dalawang departamentong itech?!

anyways... during lunch, my mahahaders (mahadera...) na mga ahente and moi went to SM hypermart to grab sumthin to eat... and abba na kumanta ng mamma mia at dancing queen... sosyal na ang food court ng establishment na ini... parang ganito oh...

parang sa thailand lang... pwede ka magpaload ng cash, then voila! order ka na neng...

at isa pang anyways... bontoc ako... kailangan mag galaw galaw... punta kaya ako sa client...
pero kanino... saan?

may darating kayang kakaibang karanasan kay mujang sa kanyang paglalakbay?

abangan....

a daily dose of astrological meds

2008-09-01T09:48:00.006+08:00

The transitions you've been going through lately have all been very exciting, but you need to be careful not to assume that big changes equal big improvements! A new routine becomes an old routine eventually, so unless you are more conscious of the new things and people in your life, this transformation will be lost on you. If you've ever contemplated keeping a diary, now is the time to start. Reading about where you've been in your own words is always enlightening.

The Bottom Line

Be careful not to assume that big changes equal big improvements! Reassess things.

- see, tama ang pag create ko ng bagong blog... a more comprehensive one... konek konek ang eksena pati mga stars nag align.

monday na naman, back to work... isang umaatikabong pakikipagsapalaran na naman... (ang ingay ng mga tao ko dito sa ofc... early morning tsismisan ng tsimisan... ang topic: boylets!!)

till later mga adengs... mag leche-flan-tsa muna ng hair ang mujang... habang nag check ng email (multitasking ini!)

ciao!

ang panimula - the beginning

2008-08-31T22:35:00.001+08:00

(a shot taken at starbucks araneta, *note: ndi po ako ang nasa pic)

In the beginning there was...

ang nagugulumihanang si mujang (in gay speak - gay mother)

maingay ang paligid, maririnig mo ang mga nagtatawanan, ang pukpukan sa isang nirerenovate na resto, ang simpleng patingin tingin ng aking kaibigan sa mga nagdadaan na samu't saring mga beki (bading, gay, "bi", 3rd sex) na nakaparada dito sa starbucks araneta.

anong nagtulak sa akin para buuin ang blogsite na ito? simple lang naman, para maihinga ang mga hinaing ng aking abang puso, ang mga hinaing ng aking nalilitong pagiisip, ang mga hinaing ng aking nangungulilang pagkatao...

-break time muna- beso beso with a friend na uuwi na habang may cutie na dumaan wearing grey sleeveless shirt and khaki shorts na sumandaling naka lock eyes ko...

rrrriiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnggg!!! tapos na ang recess

back to my drama anthology... ayun nga, bored ang mujang sa buhay kaya naisipang gumawa ng blog, nang kahit papano ay maishare naman sa madlang people ang aking mga views at insights, ang mga kaboringan na nangyayari sa buhay ko at ang mga karakter na patuloy na nagpapaikot at nagbibigay kulay sa buhay ng isang nilalang in his early 30's...

-breaktime ulit- parang timeout lang sa basketball... may cute daddy lang na dumaan and my guileless mind can't help but to wander through his beauty... nagiilusyon na naman ako hahaha! sindi na lang muna ng yosi para mawala ang tensyon...

anyways... harinawa'y ito na ang maging simula ng isang magandang bagay at isang fabulosang kabanata sa buhay ni mujang na naglakas loob na isa titik at bawat kakatwang pangyayari sa buhay ng isang bading... maging ito man ay sariling karanasan o halaw sa buhay ng mga taong ndi mapigilang maugnay sa buhay ng nagiisang mujang... (iconic ba ito?!)

dito na muna magtatapos ang panimulang kabanata sa gabing makulimlim, gabing puno ng kabaklaan ang paligid, gabing saksi na naman ang inyong abang lingkod sa mga pares ng tukling na animoy nabuhusan ng pukyutan sa sobrang tamis sa isa't isa (bitter?!), gabing hihilahin ko na naman ang aking mga paa patungo sa aking munting bahay at papasok sa aking silid upang magpahinga at humarap sa bukas na puno ng mga hamon at tanong, kakulitan ng aking mga kliyente at amo at kung anik anik pa... wag kayo mag alala... along the way, everybody will know who MUJANG is...

till next post everyone...

P.S.

nais nga po palang pasalamatan ni mujang ang kanyang mga sponsors...

- Araneta Center... for the free wi-fi... (pasaway kase ang airborne access... wa konek!)
- Starbucks Coffee... para sa classic iced choco (the only concoction that i drink... aside from the signature one)
- Si Peps at Arbita... sa walang sawang pakikinig sa mga drama ng buhay (palitan lang kami noh)
- at higit sa lahat... sa winston lights (a very loyal companion for quite a long time now... no choice cya... loyal follower din kase ako eh)

ciao!!!