1. Good boys got to heaven, sluts go everywhere
2. Anything that moves – a motto to live by
3. People you’ve never met will know you by name (though not necessarily yours)
4. You’ll get one of those cool little black books
5. Your email inbox will always be full
6. When filling out forms, when you get to the line asking for your sex, you write “always”
7. After you die, Disneyland will name a ride after you
8. Four words: Make LOVE, Not War
9. Because being a slut is a lot more interesting than being a prude
10. You’ll be in good company (and by that meaning good in bed)
11. Can you say “reality tv star?” Of course, your show will be called Follow that Ho, but that’s a minor detail
12. Your fuck buddies will start referring you
13. Lots of free penicillin
14. Local sex clubs will give you an “honorary employee” discount
15. It can become lucrative if you start charging
16. You’ll save on condoms and lube when you buy them in bulk
17. When you’re older, you’ll be able to write a book about your life and it’ll be called Sex in Every City
18. No one will be able to accuse you of being prejudiced, because you’ll screw anything
19. Instead of being given a party favor, you’d be the party favor
20. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
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